POWER: Reclaiming Self After Narcissistic Abuse
A Clinical & Compassionate Guide to Healing, Boundaries, and Inner Strength
"Healing from narcissistic abuse is not about returning to who you were before. It’s about rising into who you were always meant to be."
— Shahida Arabi
🌪️ The Hidden Wounds of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is an insidious form of psychological manipulation—often subtle, chronic, and deeply destabilizing. Survivors of this kind of trauma frequently report symptoms such as:
Emotional flashbacks
Gaslighting-induced confusion
Loss of self-identity
Hypervigilance
Shame and self-blame
In her book POWER, Shahida Arabi—a researcher and survivor herself—guides readers through the patterns of narcissistic abuse and offers empowering strategies for healing. Her work is both validating and actionable, integrating trauma science, survivor wisdom, and deep psychological insight.
🔍 Unmasking the Narcissist: Clinical Characteristics
Narcissistic abuse often follows predictable cycles:
💫 Idealize → Devalue → Discard → Hoover
These behavioral patterns aren’t random—they’re rooted in personality pathology. Narcissistic individuals often display:
A lack of empathy
A need for control and admiration
Entitlement
Emotional volatility
Manipulative tactics like gaslighting, love-bombing, and triangulation
🧠 Research Insight: Narcissistic traits are linked to structural differences in brain areas related to empathy and emotional regulation (Schulze et al., 2013).
🧠 Trauma Through a Clinical Lens
Chronic narcissistic abuse can result in Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)—a trauma response often seen in survivors of prolonged interpersonal abuse.
Key Features of C-PTSD:
Emotional dysregulation
Negative self-perception
Dissociation and numbing
Relationship difficulties
🧬 Evidence-Based Fact: Studies show that narcissistic abuse impacts the amygdala and hippocampus, regions responsible for fear and memory (Bremner, 2006).
🛠️ Rebuilding POWER: Key Lessons from the Book
1. 🧭 Radical Self-Validation
Many survivors doubt their own reality. Arabi emphasizes that healing begins by trusting your internal cues—your anger, your sadness, your intuition.
💬 Therapist’s Note: Use grounding techniques and journaling to reconnect with your inner truth. Name what happened. Reclaim your narrative.
2. 🛡️ Boundaries Are Medicine
Boundaries are often violated or eroded in abusive dynamics. Rebuilding them is a core part of recovery.
Boundaries Arabi Emphasizes:
No contact (or low contact when necessary)
Emotional boundaries (not explaining, justifying, or defending)
Time and energy limits
🧠 Clinical Strategy: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches skills like DEAR MAN to assert needs while staying regulated.
3. 🐚 Emotional Armor vs. Authentic Self
Arabi invites survivors to shed the protective identities they developed to survive and move toward authentic empowerment.
“You don’t have to become stone to stop being shattered.”
— POWER
✨ Healing Practice: Somatic therapies like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy or EMDR help release trauma stored in the body.
4. 🔥 Post-Traumatic Growth
The ultimate message of POWER is that recovery is not about returning to your old self—it’s about transformation.
Signs of Post-Traumatic Growth:
A renewed sense of purpose
Stronger boundaries
Increased empathy for others
Reconnection to joy, art, and nature
💡 Clinician Takeaway
As therapists, we must recognize that survivors of narcissistic abuse often:
Struggle with cognitive dissonance
Minimize their trauma
Present with “people-pleasing” or perfectionism rooted in survival adaptations
🧰 Clinical Tools to Support Healing:
Trauma-informed CBT
Parts work (e.g., IFS)
EMDR for stuck traumatic memories
Psychoeducation about narcissistic abuse cycles
Group therapy for survivor solidarity
🌼 Closing Reflections: Reclaiming Voice, Choice & Agency
Shahida Arabi’s POWER is more than a recovery guide—it’s a manifesto of liberation. It reminds survivors that:
They are not crazy
They are not alone
Their healing is a revolutionary act
“It’s not about becoming bulletproof—it’s about realizing you never needed to shrink to survive.”
— Shahida Arabi
